Long-lasting sexual attraction in synastry - basic checklist

Long-Lasting sexual attraction in synastry - basic checklist

5/25/2016

Photo: Arnold Skolnick

General rules:
- More than one of the sexual aspects and at least a DW (double whammy), simple or combined.
- Mutuality

Number one aspect: Venus/Mars in DW or in combination with another erotic aspect (combined DW). *for example, Venus/Mars, Mars/Moon

Sexual aspects:
1. All Mars, in order, to: Venus, Moon, Pluto, Jupiter, Neptune, Saturn, Uranus, Sun, Mercury; from both sides, both Marses aspected like this.
2. Mars to an angle, especially ASC
3. Pluto aspects

More than two-three of these; the DWs/combinations should contain hard + soft, and soft aspects, at least a trine, a sextile, should be there, for longevity; especially the trine, the most longeval aspect; for example, a Venus/Mars, Venus/Pluto, Mars/Pluto trine does a great deal with this. But balance between hard and soft in the sexual part of the synastry is the most important thing: too much soft leads to boredom followed by separation, too much hard to intensity followed by separation.

4. 8th rulers in aspect or combinations with 8th/5th. 8th/5th overlays.
5. Also, 2nd house rulers or 2nd house overlays
6. Saturn and/or Pluto in some sort of connection to sexuality in synastry/composite
7. Only in addition to the planets, significant EROS (to personal planets and angles), and/or mutual aspects with personal planets/angels and erotic asteroids: Lilith, Lust, Amor, Aphrodite, etc.

Having many aspects on this list checked in the same synastry leads to long-lasting sexual spark and compatibility.

31 Comments

Kate

3/5/2017 18:38:31

What kind of attraction/interaction does a paid have when the guy's Cancer Moon conjuncts with her Lilith in Cancer?

LeeLoo

3/7/2017 13:55:35

Hi Kate :) That is a pretty emotional and lustful contact, between the "white moon" and the "black moon" so to speak, which means no stone stays unturned in this relationship, when it comes to raw emotions and expressing your deepest, even dangerous desires, to each other. The Cancerian side could get defensive at times when faced with the overwhelming, raw emotions of this contact.
Since a man's Moon is part of his anima, your Lilith there is the darker side of such an anima (his feminine counterpart and ideal woman). He may perceive you as temptress, appealing, dark, mysterious, irresistible, and able to control his emotions, to seduce and even consume him.
When it comes to sex, darkness and the Moon should bring some passionate, special moments, more than for other couples.

Sarah

11/30/2018 06:31:30

That's so interesting that it operates that way in cancer, what about mans moon conjunct womans lilith in Aries how does that differ? Also do you have any articles about the different types of 'Lilith'

Sally

5/31/2017 07:59:51

Thank you for this synastry checklist.
The situation that I have had two times with 2 different men is this:
My Venus Leo 2 is square to my own Mars Scorpio 9.
His Venus Scorpio 3 is square to his own Mars Leo 7.
In synastry: Our Venus/Mars are in conjunction, and a double whammy to boot.

BUT our two Venus are square to each other, and our two Mars are square to each other.
Leo and Scorpio are both in fixed signs.
With no particular question in mind, just an interpretation and opinion, what do you think about this dynamic?

LeeLoo

2/6/2018 16:30:22

Hi Sally, and thank you for your comment. You are not only sitting on the same fixed square, but you share a Siamese aspect, which has great potential for compatibility based on similarity; since you both know the tension of this square pretty well, you are sharing a trait that you can use to understand each other and to help the other use the power of this square for positive accomplishments. (read more about Siamese aspects here: https://www.leeloosesotericorner.com/blog/identifying-a-great-romantic-marital-relationship-with-astrology-checklist ) This kind of tense, rather conflictual sexual energy is familiar to both. Check if it is part of a more complex structure for one or both (such as T/square or Grand Cross).

Bea

5/31/2017 16:12:39

What kind of attraction is it if his Lilith in Cancer Conjuct my Vertex in Cancer.
Also my Lilith in Leo sextile his Vertex in Gemini and my Lilith in Leo sextile his True Node.

We also have his Mars in Cancer trine my Venus in Scorpio, and his Mars in Cancer trine my Ascendand in Scorpio.
My Sun sextile his Ascendant in Scorpio.
We both are Scorpio ascendants.
My Ascendant in Scorpio conjunction his Uranus in Scorpio.
Also we have Venus square Venus aspect.
And quite few aspect of Mercury and Neptune to each others planets as well.
Pluto conjunction Pluto also.

Mareka

9/26/2017 20:00:49

When you and your guy have moon and mars in the same sign but apart 15 degrees does it still count? It's his mars my moon in Aries. We have a mars moon quintile from me to him.

Irina Koen link

12/10/2017 17:00:18

Hi!

I was wondering what you van suggest in a situation where woman sun in cancer in 7th house conjunct men’s lilth and also there in 2 degree difference her own lilith in cancet

LeeLoo

2/6/2018 16:21:30

Hi Irina!

Lilith is a source of dark, deep attraction, usually making the man perceive the woman as the Mary Magdalene archetype (both demon, and saint).

Kani

2/4/2018 16:07:23

Hello,

I', wondering what it means if my Pluto is in exact conjunction (0 degrees) with his Lilith. My Lilith is also in conjuction (but a looser one, 4,30 degrees) with his Pluto. Then we have a Pluto Venus conjunction (I'm the Pluto, 2,5 degrees) and an exact Pluto Venus trine (where I'm the Venus). Also a Venus Mars opposition (I'm the Venus). How would you interpret these? Thank you
K

LeeLoo

2/6/2018 16:20:08

Hi Kani,

A Liltih/Pluto orb of 4,30 would be a bit far for asteroid conjunction standards. However, the exact Lilith Pluto, as well as the rest of the aspects you describe (the Venus/Pluto DW) point to a very intense, mesmerizing, Plutonian-style attraction (check Pluto keywords here: https://www.leeloosesotericorner.com/blog/category/pluto). You are bound to experience potential great passion and lust, but also the dark side of those, with the mentioned aspects, coupled with the Venus/Mars opposition which makes for another layer of a perpetual fascination to want to get close and yet feel like there is always something unreachable and grandiose about the other person. Both Venus/Pluto and Mars/Pluto are classical, and desirable markers to have in a relationship based on psychological and physical passion, very sexual and romantic. Lilith is like a source of feminine Plutonian energy, and both Pluto and Lilith experience bouts of intense attraction followed by moments of necessary repulsion, like all spellbound interactions.

Kani

2/6/2018 16:37:05

Thanks a lot for your reply. I 'm not interested in a relationship with this person though, just sex. I can't remember if I ever felt such a strong sexual pull towards someone. It feels inevitabel. That's why I had to check the synastry. Thanks a lot again

Rose

2/15/2018 05:36:13

Hello.
What does it mean if her Lilith is opposite my Mercury, Venus then her lilith is also square my Mars, Saturn, AC and North node. I think our relasionship is definitely difficult and extremely hurt :(

Tiffany

2/18/2018 06:56:40

If we have a Mars conjunct Descendant DW, does this indicate attraction? We also have his Venus conjunct my Mars, his Venus conjunct my Uranus (and my Venus square his Uranus), his Moon trine my Mars, my Venus conjunct his Lilith.

Our composite has Sun conjunct Pluto (in Scorpio), Venus conjunct Pluto (in Scorpio), Venus square Mars.

It seems like we have a lot of sexual chemistry indicators but as I am really the Mars, I think I feel it stronger. That is why I was curious if the Mars conjunct Dsc DW we have can indicate mutual sexual attraction or if it really is mostly me while he feels more “lovey” toward me in a sweet way that maybe is more of a fondness?

Laura

2/24/2018 18:14:13

Hello there. How would you interpret synastry aspects bellow. I read the generic descriptions , but im not sure I understand how it would work out? I am worried about venus square mars dw and mars conjunct mars. is that too much aggression? We have :

venus square mars DW
mars conjunct mars
Lilith trine pluto
Lilith trine ascendant
Lilith trine venus
Lilith trine north node
mars conjunct mars
venus conjunct mercury
mercury trine moon
etc...
Thank you so much!

Peni

5/3/2018 19:41:02

What would you say about sun trine pluto double whammy, his moon conjunct my pluto, his moon conjunct my mars, his moon trine my venus, his venus trine my pluto, venus trine venus, mars trine mars, his jupiter sextile my moon, my venus in his 8th, his sun-mercury-venus in my 7th...

Thank you

Jess

5/29/2018 03:21:42

I looked at my synastry chart and my Lilith (in Libra) is conjunct his Vertex (in Libra); What could this placement mean ?

Jen

8/1/2018 15:02:40

There is no relationship unless there’s Venus/Mars in synastry. I’ve been in all kind of relationship..without this aspect, there really isn’t anything special between two people. Venus/Pluto, Mars/Pluto in synastry isn’t even as hot unless there’s Venus/Mars involved.. Venus/Mars in synastry is hands down the most passionate aspect between two people.

Elle

9/6/2018 14:35:54

I've to disagree with this. I think the Venus/Mars aspect is over-rated. I've Venus/Mars trine DW with my ex and it was the MOST horrible relationship I've had. Sex wasn't even hot (he was a selfish lover) and I actually wasn't attracted to him in the beginning...was lured into his "nice guy" con and got emotionally & verbally abused. Lost 5kg in the short-lived relationship. We have Mercury-Mars square DW, Moon-Mars square and Sun-Mars square which resulted in a lot of arguments. He has mercury in Sagi and Venus in Scorpio so his "attacks" were always blunt and vicious.

Two other relationships I've had w/o the Venus/Mars aspects but with Pluto-Venus/Mars/Moon, Mars-Mars, Sun-Mars etc.. the sexual chemistry were way hotter.

Elle

12/17/2018 18:21:23

How about Lilith contacts?

The man's Lilith conjunct the woman's Venus in Gemini, square her Mars and opposes her Moon.

The woman's Lilith trine the man's Mars & Asc, opposes his Mercury.

Frankie

1/13/2019 22:05:56

Do you use traditional or modern rulers of houses when doing synastry?

Thank you.

Carol

7/7/2019 14:14:45

Hi... Want know if moon neptune conjunction in double its a good aspect in synastry...im studing synastry maps and round it in onde relationship that is over... I found interest that all mens that i had relationship had my Mars square to their venus...tired of it

Scott

7/19/2019 03:37:50

Seems to be a lot of potential contradictions in the woman’s chart im interested in. Her Venus is cancer, Mars is libra, sun leo, moon Gemini —- how does that fit with her black moon Lilith in Aries? Does the latter change what her Venus/mars says about her? Does it not matter? How can I understand this girl better, attract her successfully, and meet her romantic/sexual needs? she’s the woman of my dreams. Thanks in advance

Erika

10/27/2019 21:46:14

Think of it as a piece of a puzzle. Venus in cancer is all about pleasing others by showing nurturing, safety, protection, domesticity, and probably a lot of home made cooking. Her mars wants equality, and be showered in quality little gifts. Mars in libra is awkward because is in detriment. She is probably attracted to men who would appreciate a night or date in a fine restaurant while discussing a fine movie or book, while her venus would rather stay home and impress her date with a good plate. Her sun tells you she rather be showered with gifts or the fine dining, but in order for HER to flirt freely and comfortably she needs to be in a familiar surroundings and feel safe...emotionally speaking. She can be willful, strong and confident as her sun says, but she won't be showing her feminine side unless those cancerian conditions are in place. Since her venus is ruled by the moon and her moon is in Gemini, then more often than not her WORDS are going to be the method she would choose to show her feminine side, what she values and how she cares for others and charms others. Her words are used to support, nurture and show love to others. Look into her mercury to see into how she operates on an emotional level. Because this moon placement is easily changeable, flirty and slightly superficial- air moons are not typically deep (unless other placements are in place to the moon) they are more logical and detached. But also more prone to be easily swayed by the opinion of others (unless the sign is Aquarius). Now HOW does this fit her Lilith? Easily! Her sun is fire, her moon is air = her emotional side gently supports her identity. Her RAW/WILD side is fire as well, that feeds into her fiery personality, and gives a little bit of push to her changeable emotions. The only problem is that of her mars and venus--- again. She is an assertive lady and is comfortable showing her more masculine traits - leo, aries are masculine, while gemini is neutral due to relying on logic alone but that is also seen as more masculine trait (by a lot of people, unfortunately) so for her to show you her soft and CARING side....the conditions MUST be met. You have to feel familiar or safe for her to show this, and in the bedroom this will come out more evidently. Since there is a tug or war between her sexual needs to be in an established relationship(mars libra) - and her need to be independent/free to act/fuck whomever, whatever suits her fancy at the moment (lilith Aries) so the theme here is relationships vs. Independence/me
And this plays out in the SEXUAL components of her life. Now add the different STYLE she acts (mars) with what she values ( venus) that is quite the mix. The men she attracts or she finds appealing are social butterflies but she rather stay home, or be out on her own. The only way to appeal to her is through her moon in Gemini which SPEAKS (pun intended) about her emotional need to communicate with those around her. She has a grand cross energy so if you really want her I would say appeal to her moon/logical sense. Look into her mercury for sure!

Ruru

8/22/2019 03:38:20

What if man's Rahu conjunction the woman's ascendant and her Eros? Also his Midheaven conjunction her ascendant; his 4th cusp conjunction her 7th?

Brandy K White

9/25/2019 14:01:19

What does it mean if a man's Lilith in sextile to my Ascendant 0° orb?

Vera

1/19/2020 12:14:23

My Venus and Lilith are conjunct in Libra and also conjunct his Neptune on his ascendant (Libra) and opposite his Lilith in Aries.
We have other erotic aspects such as his Venus conjunct my Pluto Uranus and Sun in Virgo. His Mars in Scorpio in my seventh house, My moon and Mars in cancer conjunct his moon. Our suns are conjunct with Pluto. His Jupiter is conjunct my Ascendant in Taurus. Oh there is more but you get my drift.
And yet he has no inclination to really want to partner up or acknowledge that there is anything between us.
I have found that the men with so much connection in our charts never stick and I was married twice to men where we really lacked in any strong synastry.
I blame my Neptune in Scorpio in my seventh house and maybe Lilith has something to do with it being in Libra the house of partnerships.

Anthony

2/1/2020 16:50:42

For physical attraction the Ascendent need a to be activated or a women’s Mars square a man’s Venus. I’m talking from experience I’ve had two women’s Mars square my Venus and both were really attracted to me. Or whenever a women’s Venus Is connected to my Libra Ascendent they like me physically. Conjunct, trine, sexile.

Christopher Cyr

3/31/2020 08:54:05

I have many aspects with sexual planets with my girlfriend of 4 years including a Venus-Uranus double whammy. Her Pluto is square my Venus and Trine my Mars. My Mars is trine her Venus and opposite her Mars. Her Mars is conjunct my Ascendant. Her Juno is conjunct my Venus. We also have a Venus-Satrurn double whammy. The sexual attraction is definitely strong but so are the emotional confirmations. How would you interpret this connection?

Cheryl

6/26/2020 15:49:04

I was wondering about lilith's aspects, Who does it effect more ?planet or lilith person? Who's more attracted to another ?
See I've got my venus&mars in someone's 8th house in scorpio
The venus degree exactly conj thier scorpion lilith both in 10° , mars in 9° degree which also very tightly conjuct
Along with lilith, venus+mars also conj thier juno in scorpio in their 8th house overlay
So in this thing who's more attracted or obsessed too ?

Nimstar

7/27/2020 03:11:51

If a mans Lilith and pluto is conjunct a womans North node, is he going to try and control her sexually?

Long-Lasting sexual attraction in synastry - basic checklist

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